05/06, 2007
The 86 Rules of Boozing
Auszüge:
20. Drink one girly drink in public and you will forever be known as the guy who drinks girly drinks.
24. After your sixth drink, do not look at yourself in the mirror. It will shake your confidence.
33. The only thing that tastes better than free liquor is stolen liquor.
43. A bar is a college, not a nursery. If you spill a beer, clean it up. If you break a glass, wait for a staff member to clean it up, then blame it on someone else.
54. Never lie in a bar. You may, however, grossly exaggerate and lean.
55. If you think you might be slurring a little, then you are slurring a lot. If you think you are slurring a lot, then you are not speaking English.
57. For every drink, there is a five percent better chance you will get in a fight. There is also a three percent better chance you will lose the fight.
62. If you are trading rounds with a friend and he asks if you’re ready for another, always say yes. Once you fall out of sync you will end up buying more drinks than him.
69. If there is ever any confusion, the fuller beer is yours.
74. If you hesitate more than three seconds after the bartender looks at you, you do not deserve a drink.
83. The bar clock moves twice as fast from midnight to last call.
Check out the full list here. Pic CC by toomanybeers on flickr.
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